With all the ink spilled recently about Albert Pujols’ NLCS surliness, it made me wonder how he would deal with facing Tom Glavine again. Fortunately, we at The 26th Man were privy to what Fox cameras didn’t show after each at-bat Tuesday:
1ST INNING
Action: Pujols, first-pitch swinging, flies out to center.
Reaction: Ridicules elderly fan’s stick-on Spiezio beard.
4TH INNING
Action: Pujols drills a home run to left.
Reaction: Apologizes to fan, gives Yadier Molina a noogie.
5TH INNING
Action: Pujols intentionally walked.
Reaction: Sends Glavine an apology ball, which reads: “Sorry I spoiled your extra day of rest. Go fuck yourself. –Albert Pujols”
7TH INNING
Action: Pujols grounds out to second.
Reaction: Calls Barry Weinberg over to look at his hamstring, then gives him the stinkface.
9TH INNING
Action: Pujols records second out on Cliff Floyd’s grounder.
Reaction: Tells Adam Wainwright, “Achilles’ heel? More like ‘I kill his heel.’”
