Introducing the Soap in the Towel Award

By Jeff

Do you remember that scene from “Full Metal Jacket” when the other members of Pvt. Pyle’s company, tired of his repeated mistakes that get the rest of them in trouble, throw him a towel party?

Watching Anthony Reyes’ and Adam Wainwright’s starts Monday and Tuesday reminded me of that scene. I wondered aloud to my co-worker Monday night whether there’s some sort of kangaroo-court beatdown for pitchers who dig the team into an inescapable hole.

And because I always seem to be short on ideas for this blog, I’d like to introduce the Soap in the Towel Award. To qualify, a starting pitcher first has to go fewer than five innings. Points then are awarded based on total runs allowed per inning pitched. So for example, a pitcher who gives up six runs in two innings would get three points, and so on.

So far and thankfully, nobody has qualified. But Reyes came awfully close on Monday, which inspired the idea. Sure… this is mean-spirited and borderline sociopathic. But then, so am I.

4 Responses to “Introducing the Soap in the Towel Award”

  1. SleepyCA Says:

    Definitely need to design a similar award for position players. PW needs something to motivate him into pretending to be a major leaguer…

  2. Your neighbor Says:

    Just try to avoid doing a “Jodi Foster in ‘The Accused’” award. That would be in bad taste no matter how poorly someone is playing. In fact, your bloging rights might be revoked if you went there.

  3. The 26th Man » Keis to the game Says:

    [...] A few hours after the Soap in the Towel Award post, Keisler took the bump against the hated (by me, at least) Giants. After an easy first inning, the Keez found himself in trouble each inning he pitched afterward. [...]

  4. Liam Says:

    I’d like to suggest that a player is nominated by crying out, “OH SItT!”

Leave a Reply