Today, fantasy baseball; tomorrow, the world!

Read it and weep, bitches:

That’s right. Yours truly has taken over the top spot in Ryan VB’s Cardinals bloggers fantasy league. There’s no need to point out that this is a temporary thing; I am well aware of that. Just let me bask in the glow of leading a roto-scored league this late in the season.

Myself, I prefer the head-to-head version of fantasy baseball. But I always play one league every season, roto-style. And let me tell ya: I freaking stink at roto-style fantasy baseball. Somehow, though, the gentlemen on my squad have put it together, especially in the past couple of weeks or so.

After starting the season off terribly (I was near the bottom in all categories), The 26th Man team has sustained its buckwilditude for a good six or so weeks. The hitters started, um, hitting, as April drew to a close, and the pitching staff, led by Jason Schmidt, has been bonkers since the beginning of May. Who knew that a relief corps that employed the likes of Todd Jones and Tyler Walker could keep a team in the middle of the pack in saves?

Alas, we all know what they say about good things. I just hope the fellas can help me keep things respectable.

p.s. Peace to the other Cards bloggers in this league. Major-league shout-outs to the aforementioned Cardinals Diaspora as well as Fungoes, Matty Fred, Redbirds Fun, Captain Obvious and Redbird Ramblings. If I missed you, I apologize.

p.p.s. If anyone at all cares, this league is different than the one I have occasionally posted about. That one is my money league on Sportsline I help run with my friend Chris E. I’m doing much worse in that league.

A little payback

It’s about time, too.

After a three-week losing streak “capped” by such a pitiful effort last week that I couldn’t bring myself to post about it (well, I was drunk, too), Ebby Calvin LaLoosh busted out in a big way, winning 381-275 and pocketing the $10 (woo, woo) that comes with the week’s high score.

The fellas hit pretty well this week, but it was the pitchers who did the heavy lifting. Justin Verlander (68 points) has been nearly unhittable lately, continuing that success in two starts this week. Chad Cordero (32) had his second straight two-save week, breaking the 30-point barrier for the first time. Even Kelvim Escobar (5) finished in the black despite his two losses. Kudos to the following:

• Carlos Beltran: 11-29, 6 R, 8 RBI, BB, SB, 22 TB (40)
• Verlander: 16 IP, 2-0, ER, 12 H, 2 BB, 12 K, CGShO (68)
• Honorable mentions: Ryan Zimmerman (29), Cordero (32)
• Team hitting: .301/.357/.536
• Team pitching: 48 IP, 3-2-3/2.06/0.92, 7.69 K/9

LOOKING AHEAD: Brian Roberts returns to the fold after four weeks of mostly uninspired play from his replacements (Rich Aurilia, Ty Wigginton). Claudio Vargas joins the club as the Replacement-Level Two-Start Pitcher of the Week. Jim Edmonds has added a bay window and curtains to his corner of the bench. Richie Sexson remains there as well, though continuation of his recent warm play may merit consideration.

I need help

But where do I start? My fantasy team got 99 problems, but a (ahem) ain’t one:

• Half of my original starting rotation (A.J. Burnett, Ben Sheets) is on the disabled list.
• My starting 2B (Brian Roberts) also is on the DL, and his replacement (Ty Wigginton) went all A-Rod on me this week. The postseason A-Rod.
• My relief corps continues to be an early-round albatross of a black hole.
• Plus 96 more problems.

Well, not 96. I had to make the math come out even. But a below-average offensive week conspired with some less-than-stellar pitching to sink my team this week. Not that it would have mattered anyway; my opponent dropped an eye-popping 379 this week. I believe that this is the third time this season that my opponent has rolled up the week’s high score against me. Changes are needed, but which hole should be patched? Not part of the problem are:

• Felipe Lopez: 11-25, 6 R, 5 BB, 5 SB, 12 TB (35 points)
• Jason Schmidt: 16 IP, 1-0, 3 ER, 8 H, 3 BB, 9 K (52 points)
• Honorable mention: Alex Rios (34), Brandon Claussen (20)
• Team batting: .260/.337/.470
• Team pitching: 46 IP, 1-4-1/4.11/1.28/, 6.07 K/9

Brewers pitcher Sheets himself

I’m pinning this on Ben Sheets.

Dude was to get two starts this week. Good news, right? Well, I thought so, too. His start on Dos de Mayo was just brutal: 2.1 IP, 9 H, 7 ER, for a dispiriting -18 points. At least he didn’t walk anyone, right?

His chance for redemption was to come Sunday, but alas, he’s scratched because of “tightness” in his shoulder. Come on, Ben, rub some dirt on it and get out there. My team needs you!

Meh. Needless to say, I lost again this week. I had easily my best week hitting, and ol’ Sheets goes and farts in church (as the saying goes). Well, that and my opponent got two stellar starts from Johan Santana. What are you gonna do, except hope your seven probable starts next week can get the job done. These people ruled this week:

• Carlos Beltran: 8-27, 7 R, 5 RBI, 9 BB, 2 SB, 24 TB (46 points)
• Jason Schmidt: 9 IP, 1-0, 5 H, 7 K (44)
• Honorable mention: Austin Kearns (31), Roy Oswalt (29)
• Team hitting: .317/.414/.548
• Team pitching: 33.2 IP, 2-3-1/4.54/1.10, 7.75 K/9

Looking ahead: Week 5 saw Richie Sexson get pine time. As much as it pains me, Jim Edmonds will join Sexson for Week 6. Edmonds just isn’t getting it done, and Alex Rios is swinging a scorching bat. Woes at the keystone continue, as well. With Brian Roberts on the disabled list, Rich Aurilia was plugged in for Week 5; he landed on the DL two days after taking Mark Mulder deep. This week gives Ty Wigginton, picked up in Week 4, a chance to strut his stuff in his newly acquired 2B eligibility. Word. Roy Oswalt, Jason Schmidt and fresh face Brandon Claussen (yeah, I’m that desperate) are due two starts this week.

Woe is lucky me

I view my league’s scoring system as a rough analog of batting average. A score of 250 is merely OK; you’re not going to get that far, though. A score of 300 is very good; you should be quite successful scoring 300.

Well, this week I scored … 236. Yeah, that’s what I said. The silver lining, though, is that my opponent, The Mirror-Breaking Black Cats Who Walk Under Ladders, scored only 210. Did I mention that my opponent has had bad luck this season?

This week saw my pitching staff go from bad to worse. Francisco Cordero has been officially ousted as Rangers closer. His replacement, Akinori Otsuka, was claimed by another team about 5 hours before I first heard of the coup de bullpen. One of my two wins this week came after one of Cordero’s two blown saves. The other Cordero, Chad, hasn’t been bad, he just hasn’t been pitching. He saw just two innings this past week, neither in a save situation. Arrgh. Anyway, here’s who was good:

• Lance Berkman: 8-24, 4 R, 9 RBI, 5 BB, 20 TB (38 points)
• Ben Sheets: 1-0, 6 IP, 2 ER, 6 H, 1 BB, 9 K (26)
• Honorable mention: Jason Giambi (36), Chad Cordero (by default, 7)
• Team hitting: .262/.392/.480
• Team pitching: 34 IP, 2-4/4.76/1.41, 6.88 K/9

Vote for Pedro

Good gravy, do I really have two consecutive posts about my fantasy geekitude? My mission seems to be to drive everyone away, I guess. In my defense, though, I haven’t had much blogging time available. This weekend I took the family to The Magic House and the City Museum (to which I had never been. That place totally rules, plus it’s along that fantastic stretch of downtown known as Washington Avenue).

Anyway, this week in fantasy was a banner one for me… except that I lost again. Normally, scoring 347 points allows for an easy win, but my opponent was just a little bit better, scoring 364 points, 60 of which came via Pedro F. Martinez.

My team had three two-start pitchers in Roy Oswalt, Kelvim Escobar and Justin Verlander, all of whom pitched more or less exceptionally. My cause was hindered by Carlos Beltran’s ongoing hammy woes, which netted me all of one lousy point. Playing Austin Kearns (27) in place of Jim Edmonds (22) turned out to be the right play. The closer spots continue to be a black hole for me; Corderos Chad and Francisco turned in 13 points between them. A perfect, one-inning save is worth 13 points, even with no strikeouts, gentlemen. You should try it sometime. This week’s gnarly dudes:

• Brian Roberts: 11-23, 6 R, 3 RBI, 5 BB, 6 SB(!), 16 TB (42 points)
• Escobar: 2-0, 13.2 IP, 12 H, 4 BB, 14 K (49)
• Honorable mention: Jason Giambi (29), Roy Oswalt (46)
• Team hitting: .276/.361/.448
• Team pitching: 52.2 IP, 6-3-2/3.93/1.06, 8.54 K/9

Back to Earth

As good-lucky as I was in Week 1, I was equally bad-lucky in Week 2, this time getting shelled 388-255. I had nobody on my team scheduled to make two starts, so I had to go fishing in the free agent pool to find one. I gambled on Sergio Mitre, one that did not pay off. Meechie got me a net total of 7 points over his two Week 2 starts. Justin Verlander embodied the duality of man, getting shelled (to the tune of -20 points) in Week 2 after dominating the Rangers in Week 1. And not even a four-out win from Francisco Cordero on Sunday could put him on the positive side of the week’s ledger (-2).

It seems that this week was all about the poor pitching. The hitting was fairly steady, save for a badly slumping Jim Edmonds (13) and an almost-as-badly slumping Ryan Zimmerman (14). The top hitters and pitchers are:

• Jason Giambi: 8-14, 6 R, 10 RBI, 5 BB, 22 TB (44 points)
• Roy Oswalt: 1-0, 8.1 IP, 8 H, 3 BB, 2 K (26)
• Honorable mention: Lance Berkman (35), Chad Cordero (24)
• Team hitting: .285/.373/.539
• Team pitching: 34.1 IP, 2-4-2/5.09/1.53, 4.58 K/9

Week 1

Nobody Cares But Me

Though my real-life baseball team had an up-and-down Week 1, my fantasy team managed a surprisingly comfortable win, 344-296.

Half of my starting rotation (Ben Sheets, A.J. Burnett) began the season on the disabled list, so I had to give the ball to Kelvim Escobar (13th round) and Justin Verlander (18th). Neither were spectacular options: Escobar was facing the Yankees, Verlander the Rangers in Texas. But they both managed wins; Verlander’s was especially impressive, but not enough to beat Roy Oswalt for the first recipient of The 26th Man’s pitcher of the week award. Hitters of the week were Lance Berkman and Felipe Lopez. The envelope:

• Oswalt: 1-0, 14.1 IP, 5 ER, 12 H, 3 BB, 1 HBP, 11 K (38 pts)
• Berkman: 8-21, 4 R, 9 RBI, 4 BB, 18 TB (35)
• Lopez: 10-25, 6 R, 4 RBI, 4 BB, 2 SB, 17 TB (35)
• Honorable mention: Verlander (33), Carlos Beltran (27).
• Team hitting: .292/.404/.490
• Team pitching: 46.1 IP, 4-1-1/3.50/1.12, 7.81 K/9

Don’t get 2 close 2 my fantasy

Once again, I’m in three fantasy leagues this year. The first one is the Cardinals Diaspora league, one’s a Yahoo public league, and the other is my keeper league, the one that’s for the money.

I had to miss the draft for Diaspora’s league because of work, and the results of my draft prove that to be the wrong strategy. Chances in that league are slim.

It’s not much better in the points-based keeper league. It’s in its third season, and you get one “superstar” keeper and two “prospect” keepers, ones that were drafted after the seventh round or were free-agent pickups. You can keep the superstar ad infinitum but the prospects only for two seasons before you either superstar them or cut ‘em loose. My keepers this year were Roy Oswalt, Ben Sheets (in his second “kept” season) and Lance Berkman.

Going into the draft, my strategy was to load up on best-available pitching early, then go after the power positions. Of course, the draft didn’t go nearly as well as I wanted it to. My pitching staff and outfield would rate a solid B or better, but my infield is mostly atrocious, and there’s a serious lack of depth. Here’s how my team looks, with draft position in parentheses: