Easy like Sunday afternoon

With 12 runs scored in Sunday’s tilt against the Cubs, that makes 32 runs scored during the past three Sabbaths, compared with just 30 in the Cardinals’ other 15 games.

This gives me an idea. I think the team should petition the NFL for re-establishment of a St. Louis Cardinals franchise. Think about it: Nearly all the games would be during Sunday afternoons, when the team does most of its scoring… we would rule the league.

A few other thoughts from Sunday:

$$$ The lede from The Associated Press game story got me thinking:

CHICAGO (AP) — With the wind blowing out at Wrigley Field, the conditions were perfect for the St. Louis Cardinals to get their offense out of a season-long funk.

I think that’s the third time this season that lede has been written.

$$$ The linescore was kind of nuts:

Cubs score. Cards tie. Cubs score. Cards tie. Cards score. Cubs tie. Cards score. Cubs tie. Cards score. Cubs… don’t? The bottom of 10th inning was almost anticlimactic.

$$$ Preston Wilson has had himself a nice past few games. He had two hits Sunday, one to start the fun in the 10th inning. His home run Friday won that game. He even walked twice this series. Has the world gone topsy-turvy?

$$$ Aaron Miles, meanwhile, hasn’t. He pulled a Chris Duncan on Saturday, getting turned around on a popup (which should have been Wilson’s play) for an error that led to a meaningless run. And Sunday he took an impossible angle on Mark DeRosa’s popup in the ninth (which may have been uncatchable, but it’s still Wilson’s play). If he’s on the team for his glove, somebody better tell him. Paging Edgar Gonzalez…

$$$ And finally, if I may steal a bit from Fungoes… Sunday illustrates why pitcher wins are a meaningless statistic. Jason Isringhausen loses the lead in the ninth. Tyler Johnson and Russ Springer don’t in the 10th, yet Isringhausen is credited with the win, having done none of the heavy lifting to “earn” it. Arrgh.

Oh, the humanity!

Getting beaten by the hated Cubs is bad enough. To get shut out is even worse.

But to be on the business end of seven scoreless innings from He Who Shall Not Be Named is the ultimate indignity.

Ironically enough, it appeared that HWSNBN was up to his old tricks by plunking Albert Pujols and allowing a Scott Rolen base hit to set up a big first inning, the bane of his existence last year.

But he managed to get a painfully slow-footed Jim Edmonds to ground out. From then on, he was more or less the same pitcher he was with St. Louis, allowing at least one baserunner in four of his next six innings. The Cardinals flaccid offense just couldn’t string enough hits together, going 0-for-7 with runners in scoring position Saturday. And Chris Duncan continued his overanxious futility with the bases loaded by striking out in the fourth inning.

Pujols wasn’t all that impressed facing HWSNBN, though:

He got in trouble like normally, you know, he always gets in trouble, and finds a lucky pitch to make to get out of trouble, you know.

Surly and Dismissive Albert is the Albert we knew and loved last year. He also was a ball-destroying machine last year. Maybe that’s all it will take for Albert to break out: start being a dick to the press again.

Also interesting is that our own Anthony Reyes seems to have inherited the HWSNBN mantle of digging a hole early before settling in. And Reyes didn’t actually pitch badly; he made the one bad pitch to Michael Barrett, and it was all over before the first inning was in the books.

As soon as he let that pitch go, I said, “Aw, man.” Gary Bennett had set up down and in, and Reyes missed up and over the plate. Barrett, to his credit, didn’t miss. That mistake ruined an otherwise good outing: seven hits (six minus the Barrett HR), no walks and five strikeouts in six innings.

Siiiighhhh… I’m still optimistic for the rubber game. It is Ten-Run Sunday, after all.

One more thing… I’ve extended another invitation to Paper Boy to chime in from the dark side of The Rivalry. Be gentle, my friend.

Kevin’s not too happy, either. (The Red Crush)

I need to stop taking showers

Well, maybe not entirely. But at least during games.

I had it all lined up: The house was (sort of) picked up and The Boy down for a nap mere minutes before the first pitch. All lined up except for one thing: I had to be at work at 4 and needed a shower.

After six innings, it was about 3 p.m. With Scott Rolen (.576 OPS), Jim Edmonds (.502) and Preston Wilson (.495) coming up in the seventh, I figured I could get clean and not miss much.

How wrong I was. After Rolen whiffed, Jim Edmonds finessed a walk against Ted Lilly. Wilson then came up and crushed a ball onto Waveland Avenue to give the Cardinals the lead. One suggestion, P-Dub: When you’re hitting .200/.220/.275 on the season, walking halfway up the first-base line before you begin your trot looks kind of bad, regardless of how hard you hit the ball. Still, nice shot, yo.

I understand there also was some defensive kookiness in the bottom half of the seventh. After seeing the replay approximately 77 times on “SportsCenter,” it looked as if Yadier Molina was trying to catch Henry Blanco’s pop-up bunt attempt with his bare hand to try to throw behind Jacque Jones for the double play.

Fresh out of the shower, though, I’m clueless to what had just transpired. All I see is that the Cards have the lead and there are runners on first and second. But as if to put an exclamation point on yet another superb start, Braden Looper reared back and struck out both Mark DeRosa and pinch-hitter Daryle Ward. I’m wondering that, since he knew he was due up first in the eighth inning, Looper just pinned his ears back and let it rip. Two strikeouts in that situation is mad clutch.

As an uneventful eighth inning and top of the ninth pass, it’s time to leave for work. I put on the Moonman in the car for the bottom half. As I get about two minutes away from my office, this happens:

Typical Cubs play: You’re gifted second base on a walk to the batter, yet you still manage to overslide the base and get tagged out. Dumbass.

Give Mike Shannon credit: He was on top of this from the get-go. He about had a coronary when the play went down and was apoplectic during the umpires’ conference. I can only imagine Ron Santo’s reaction when Ronny Cedeno was called out.

As maddening as the Cardinals have been this young season, it’s good to beat the Cubs. It’s even better to banish them to the basement. Ha-ha, jerks.

~|~|~|~|~|~|~|~|~|~|

Notes from that other “rivalry:” As if we needed any more reasons to loathe Alex Rodriguez, his two home runs Friday night were Nos. 475 and 476, moving him past Baseball’s Perfect Knight on the all-time list. … former Cardinals farm hand Coco Crisp went ass over teakettle trying rob A-Fraud of No. 476. … And Red Sox fans are monumental douchebags, but you already knew that.

Anatomy of a dinger

The Cardinals blogosphere certainly is atwitter about our man Sno Cones’ recent walk-off heroics.

But Gary Bennett’s grand slam didn’t happen in a vacuum. He had mad help from his teammates as well as his opponents Sunday. Check it:

Albert Pujols led off the ninth with a single. When imposing his will to win, he needn’t be directly involved to make an impact. I think all of us knew he was going to steal, and off he was against Bob Howry (although it looked as if his first couple steps were in mud).

Scott Rolen then bounced one up the middle. Ronny Cedeno fielded it just to the left of second base. Could he have stepped on second to get the gaffle-minded Pujols? Maybe, but he didn’t. Cubs mistake No. 1.

Juan Encarnacion then grounded to third. Aramis Ramirez scooped it up and seemed to freeze for a split-second before he threw to first. That hesitation allowed a hustling Instant Breakfast to beat the throw. Cubs mistake No. 2. And Pujols advanced to third after seeing no one covering the bag. Cubs mistake No. 3.

Ronnie Belliard, the Gangsta of Glove, finessed a walk to load the bases.

Aaron Miles then tapped a grounder to third. Ramirez forced Pujols at home, but Miles, because he’s Aaron Miles, was digging the whole way and beat Michael “Back Alley” Barrett’s throw.

Finally, Bennett unloaded on Cubs mistake No. 4:

(thanks to VEB commenter Hardcore Legend for the screen capture)

Holy Merciful Christ

Gary Bennett.

Walk-off grand slam.

That is all.

(graphic courtesy Bellyscratcher) 

I come here not to bury Tony La Russa…

… but to try to understand just what on Earth he was thinking pinch-hitting for Chris Duncan in the ninth inning Saturday.

On the game threads at Viva El Birdos, this event alone was blamed for the Cardinals’ loss. Many posters there left bitter comments about the move. Things got so bad there that LBoros himself had to tell people to “chill the hell out.” On his vacation, no less.

Anyway, the move. The setup involves Aaron Miles walking to load the bases with one out. Duncan is up next, so Dusty Baker calls for the lefty Will Ohman. TLR then counters Dusty’s move by calling back Duncan and sending Juan Encarnacion to the plate.

My first reaction was one of incredulity, as Duncan has been obliterating the ball for the past couple of weeks. Why not eschew the lefty-lefty thing and just “ride the hot hand”? Well, first let’s look at Dunc’s and Enc’s splits vs. lefties:

Duncan: .222/.243/.417 in 36 at-bats
Enc’ion: .313/.336/.507 in 144 at-bats; .271/.323/.424 lifetime

There’s an obvious discrepancy there. Next, let’s look at the situation, bases loaded:

Duncan: .111/.111/.111 in 9 at-bats
Enc’ion: .300/.273/.400 in 10 at-bats

Both have had so few at-bats with the sacks drunk this season as to make the distinction virtually meaningless. But look at Enc’s same splits lifetime: .343/.373/.529 in 102 at-bats. Now we’re getting somewhere.

We all know that TLR is a slave to that little card in his back pocket, and that card told him that Encarnacion is Juan tough Dominican when the bases are loaded. Unfortunately, it didn’t work out. As my friend David Lowery once said:

We zig and zag between good and bad
Stumble and fall on right and wrong
‘Cause the tumblin’ dice and the luck of the draw just leads us on

With the benefit of hindsight, one could argue that TLR made the right move based on the cold, hard logic. But with the way that Duncan has been hitting, it seems that telling logic to go scratch might have been the better move.

What are you gonna do? Let’s get ‘em Sunday, boys.

(For more second-guessing-of-TLR fun, see the Rev. Redbird and VEB commenter sjoshi.)

All is right with the world

After Thursday’s stirring win against the Reds, I fully expected the Cardinals to hit Wrigley locked and loaded with both barrels blazing.

No, really. Even with all my whining as of late, I still had it in me to believe we could parlay Thursday’s hard 9 and not crap out.

Was I ever right.

With six (!) home runs Friday, the Cards began to recoup a little dignity, something that has escaped them in their visits this year to Big Shouldersville. The usual suspects took their turns, of course, but the new guys got into the act, too. Preston Wilson! Ronnie Belliard! Even Waukegan’s own Gary Bennett joined the parade.

Speaking of Belliard, I think I’ve finally settled on a nickname: Gangsta of Glove. Eh? And speaking of nicknames, I think Chris Duncan has shaken off my pissy “Daddy’s Boy” tag. During his current six-game hitting streak, he’s batting roughly four thousand.

And finally, it was nice to see the Cubs finally realize they are the Cubs. That third inning it felt like I was watching a baseball game when a Benny Hill routine broke out.

p.s. Get well soon, Eck.

When in Rome…

… play ball as crappy as the Romans do, I guess.

Seriously, this series has been uncharacteristically poor defensively. Have we ever seen Scott Rolen commit defensive lapses three games in a row? My poor memory (must run on Windows, I guess) can’t conjure up such an event.

First, he gets eaten up by a routine grounder Thursday. On Friday, his double clutch and high throw on the Marmol grounder extended the inning (although the argument could be made that Hector Luna also was at fault by not being at the bag in time).

But Saturday’s gaffe was just plain kooky. With two on in the bottom of the second, Ronny Cedeno bloops a single, and Angel Pagan, originally on first, is motoring for third base. Which is bad news for John Mabry, who’d made just a short turn around third and is now forced to run home.

Except Rolen spaces him. Run scores. Tie ballgame. Had Rolen looked up, he would have had Mabry by 20 feet. Yeah, I was exasperated, too.

Then, somehow, the ol’ fake-to-third-fake-to-first move by Anthony Reyes actually works, catching Cedeno breaking for second. But David Eckstein is just a second too late to catch Pagan breaking for home, and Pagan is credited with a steal of home. Cedeno was safe, too. What a revolting development.

That inning could have gone into the pooper from there, but Juan Encarnacion’s throw and Yadier Molina’s guts for absorbing the hit from Cedeno ended the inning. Hey Michael Barrett, were you paying attention? When someone barrels into you at home, don’t punch him in the face. I sure hope you were watching, the same way you got caught watching at second base. I don’t think I’ve ever seen someone get picked off second by the catcher.

Like I said… weird game.

I sense something. A presence I’ve not felt since…

This so-far unsuccessful series against the Cubs is beginning to dredge up the bitterness I’ve mostly contained since that fateful five-game set with the Shitheads in September 2003.

See?

There are few things that frost my cheese the way losing to the Cubs does. Especially when unnecessary on-field incidents take away from the game, such as the Ronny Cedeno dive in Friday’s game.

Also unnecessary were the hit batsmen that preceded Cedeno’s dive. Scott Rolen was the first victim, getting drilled in the “O” in “Rolen” by Roberto Novoa. Braden Looper then returned the favor by plunking Aramis Ramirez much lower on the body.

In a Friday postgame thread, Cubs uber-blog Bleed Cubbie Blue, the Viva El Birdos of the Cubs blogosphere, apparenty has grown tired of Tony La Russa’s supposed “Mickey Mouse mind games,” urging him to just “grow up.”

BCB says that there was “absolutely no way” that Novoa’s initial hitting of Rolen was intentional.

OK, fine. But that pitch that supposedly got away from Novoa hit Rolen perilously high, roughly in between his shoulder blades. That’s not cool in the least.

But BCB apparently is convinced that TLR ordered the Ramirez plunkage as well as the high-and-tight to Cedeno:

Looper’s pitch that hit Aramis Ramirez absolutely, positively was intentional…

Yeah? So what? Is he just supposed to allow his star third basemen to get drilled six inches below the base of the skull? The real “Mickey Mouse” action belonged to Aramis Ramirez, who was just shocked (shocked!) that he got shot in the ass on the downstroke. Be a man and take your base without the histrionics.

And speaking of histrionics, Cedeno’s dive was just sad. That was not a purpose pitch, just one up and in to make it harder to get the bunt down. It’s called baseball. So the ball came close to you. These things happen in baseball. Don’t act like a soccer player.

All this, and the ultimate in demonstrative ballplayers, Carlos Zambrano, hasn’t even pitched yet. I can’t wait for that; it should be very entertaining.

Diver down

No, I’m not talking about the album of cover songs that Van Halen released in 1982.

I’m talking about Cubs shortstop Ronny Cedeno, who apparently would have made a great soccer player. Unfortunately, I’ve yet to see pictures of the incident, so I’ll try to thousand-words it for you.

It’s the bottom of the eighth inning and Cedeno comes to the plate with a runner on first and a one-run lead. The sitch screams “sacrifice bunt.”

(Pointless aside: In trying to type the word “sacrifice,” my fumbly fingers first typed “scarface.” Awesome.)

Cedeno squares, and Braden Looper’s offering apparently comes up and in (I was in the car listening to the radio) to Cedeno, who uses this opportunity to showcase his acting skills.

He falls to the ground, in apparent agony, claiming the ball hit him in the wrist. But umpire Ed Montague ruled that Cedeno offered at the pitch and called it a strike.

Predictable hijinks ensue as Dusty “Johnnie B.” Baker comes out to argue and gets himself run for his trouble. Cedeno, however, miraculously finds the strength to continue and executes the sacrifice.

And Cedeno must be a real trooper, because he managed to get the first and last outs of the ninth inning. A real trooper? More like a real diver. It’s good for him the game was over then, or he would have been drilled for real the next time he came up.

And speaking of cowards, what on Earth is Ryan Dempster’s problem?

In perusing pictures of Friday’s game, I see that their closer took umbrage with a fan whom I believe was Marty “The Sign Man” Prather. Check it:

(M. Spencer Green/AP)

What the hell is that crap? Soaking a fan carrying a sign? Just a gutless (and typically Cub) action. Now, fans certainly are not allowed to pitch crap at the ballplayers. I guess it is OK, though, for ballplayers to do the same to the fans. Just a classless act by a classless ballplayer.